~ Dreams In Reality ~

Saturday, April 14, 2007

the feeling of being betrayed .. the feeling of being kept in the dark for more than a year .. the feeling of having to accept the facts of different things time after time .. when dere's already sho much problems unsolved , my heart gort hurt by some other horrible facts .. i've been struggling with my life after since eiu left mie .. everydae hopin & tryin tho b happie .. tish 18months dere's nort a dae whereby dere's really a great happiness in my life .. it's unfair enough .. it's cruel enough .. i'm a human too .. i dho hab feelings like everyone else out dere .. i hate tho c myself crying bacause of eiu .. wheneva my tears dropped cause of eiu , my heart hurts sho badly .. will eiu noe & understand such feelings ? i control myself from cryin since i insisted on knowin all those hurtful doings of eiu .. in front of " dem " , i din wanna let eiu all c tat i cry .. i bear wid it .. on the bus , my eyes r wet .. i took deep breathes forh my tears nort tho drop .. the moment i alighted , my tears rolled down .. it's sho painful & hard tho stopped the tears from rolling down .. i'm totally sad ; i cried .. my tears somehow cant stopped droppin .. fridae's nite was sho tiring , sho painful .. my mind was filled with all ur cruel doings .. dere's nho way i can get it out of my mind .. it repeated & repeated .. i cried till i fall asleep .. my eyes were swollen .. the moment i was awake , it's all those betrays again tat was in my mind flashin .. i hardly cant believe that you did such things to me behind my back ..

things r easier tho sae than dho .. eiu all tink i loves tho b sad marhs .. i os0 hopes tho b happie , smilin naturely like how it used tho b like 3years ago .. if eiu people were in my position now , will eiu all still b able tho smile & laugh like nothing has happend before .. will eiu all understand how i feels ? dho eiu all noe how tired it ish tho face sho much sho much things ? when such things happen tho mie , i'm sorrie tho sae tat my heart & i cant & wont b able tho take it .. it's too hurtful .. friends tell mie tho cheer up but how tho .. i'm sure if such things happen on eiu all , eiu all os0 cant cheer up .. i noe it's nort worth cryin forh such ppl & thins but can i control & stop my tears ? the answer ish i cant .. can anione of eiu dho it ? i tink it's a nho ..

when my mood was sho bad & down , nho one was by my side .. i smsed goodboii .. he din reply & till now dere's nort a reply .. i smsed someone else & told wad happened .. he replied but later on , dere's nho reply form him .. & yarhhs , til now os0 nho reply .. i din wanna bother anione ; i don hope tho create extra disturbances & even burdens tho eiu all .. jush leave mie like tish barhs ..

if tish daes , i dho thins tat let eiu all feel pissed off or wad , please forgive mie .. if i irritated eiu guys , tell mie or ven scold mie .. i'm sorrie tho people tat really cares & hopes tat i can b happie cause i'm nort able tho cheer up barhhs .. if dere's ppl tat still really cares forh mie , i'll wanna sae i appreciate it ..

[ ` struggling with her tired life ] *

[ * no mood for anything ]`

[ ~ depressed ~]

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7:43:00 PM

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